Sunday, 11 May 2014

[#9] The Path To The Pokémon League (2/2)

It's VLC having problems! Also, it's Sandshrew.
It's time for AJ's Pokémon to get a fifteen minute break. They all look terribly exhausted, so you know Ash is going to complain again. It's in his nature to be a whiny little sod. They have another quarrel, meanwhile I sit here questioning whether watching Pokémon is inflicting upon me genuine and tangible biran dmagae or smoethnhig. Ash kconks AJ itno the wtaer agian.

My money's on the annoying one. Oh crepes, they're both annoying. Whichever one dies, the world will be a better place. While the two of them are fighting in the pool, Pikachu plays with Sandshrew's Strength Intensifier. This is important, there will be an exam on this later-- have I used that joke? I think I have.

With Pikachu and Sandshrew both curled up in a ball, Team Rocket roll into the tent and take Sandshrew by mistake. Whoops, they wanted Pikachu but ended up taking the stronger, better trained Pokémon.

The break is over, but where is Sandshrew? Ash tells AJ that Sandshrew must have ran away after seeing how happy he and Pikachu are together. That's the kind of line someone would use when talking about how their fiancee is better than that other person's fiancee. AJ doesn't fall for it. He sends out his Pokémon to search for Sandshrew.

"Anybody who wants to come with me, just raise your hand! ...raise your hand!" Ash tries to usurp AJ's Pokémon, but they're actually happy with AJ as their trainer. Just then, Sandshrew busts in through the ground with Meowth biting his tail! AJ and Sandshrew are reunited, and Ash looks an even bigger fool for suggesting Sandshrew ran away.

As Ash realizes he is mistaken about AJ and that AJ actually cares deeply for his Pokémon, Pikachu tries to draw everyone's attention to the fact that, y'know, Meowth's in the darn tent.

With Meowth cornered by AJ, Ash and crew and their Pokémon, he is rescued by the appearance of Team Rocket members Jessie and James. It's been seven months since I last wrote the motto, so we might as well do it!

"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"



"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"Meowth, that's right!"

Team Rocket are overwhelmed by the beauty of their own motto. I agree. And I'm glad I took the time to deliver it, and it felt good to share it. AJ isn't at all moved by their motto, instead ready to open a can of whoop-ass on them for attempting to steal Sandshrew. Team Rocket state they have no interest in AJ's 'second-rate' Sandshrew, despite being interested in it at the beginning of the episode.

But that's just how they are.

They fire up AJ by calling his Pokémon wimps, and thus, they take the fight outside. I'll give you ten guesses what Pokémon will be out during this battle... Come on, think about it. In fact, I won't even say their names for this entire block, just to prove some kind of point.

Jessie's Pokémon uses Bind, but AJ's Pokémon breaks free of the Bind, causing Jessie's Pokémon to tie itself in a knot.

What Pokémon do you picture?

How predictable is this, already?

That's right.

James' Pokémon shoots sludge at AJ's Pokémon, but AJ's Pokémon withstands the sludge by spinning. Which Pokémon has James used? What is James' Pokémon? But of course.

What I am trying to do here is point out how obvious these match-ups are. I'll put things straight, right? After thirty episodes, you get sick of Team Rocket using the same two Pokémon.

And now, a joke where we point out how Meowth is a cat and should therefore behave like a cat.


Sandshrew causes a minor Earthquake the other side of the world and plunges an entire town into a sinkhole, but on the plus side, AJ reaches his 100th victory, and-- I just can't take it anymore. Please make this brain-splitting eipodse sotp arladey.

The next two minutes in super quick recap:

Ash and AJ go their separate ways claiming they'll meet again at the Pokémon league, but they never will. Team Rocket run away and show themselves incompetent again which is a proper shame. And the Narrator says something... The Narrator says something, hey, wake up. I had to sit through this too but I didn't fall asleep. Do your bit.

"There are many paths that lead to the Pokémon League, and Ash is just beginning to discover his own. What lies on that path is unknown, one thing's for sure, he'll never forget the name of that place with the great gym again!"

Oh but he does. We'll never hear the name AJ again, and even that is far too soon.

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