Tuesday, 27 May 2014

[#14] Electric Shock Showdown (2/2)

It's been over a week since the last Poké-post. I don't want another sudden break from the blogging so let's soldier-on with the second half of Electric Shock Showdown.

Oh, by the way. it's Raichu. Which is to be expected, I'm sure.

Monday, 19 May 2014

[#14] Electric Shock Showdown (1/2)

The face of sheer happiness. Do you know what this means, people?

"After two weeks of being lost..."

"...our heroes reach Vermillion City!"

Thank mercy for that.

"Congratulations! You finally made it!"

The gang are far too hungry to get a bath / hit the laundromat / challenge the gym so that needs taking care of. Cue title-card, monsieur!

Pizazz, motherfrogger, do you speak it?

Sunday, 18 May 2014

[#13] Mystery At The Lighthouse

This episode starts with, you guessed it, the gang being lost. Well isn't that a doddle. We've come to expect as much. This episode also covers some more game mechanics - carrying six Pokémon and Pokémon computer storage. It also introduces an important character in the games (though of much lesser importance in the show). So let's get on with it.

"Well here's a familiar scene!"

Yeah, we know that Narrator. Care to provide anything useful?

"Wandering in a forest? It appears our friends have once again lost their way."

That's right.

"It's been quite a while now since Ash left his home in the town of Pallet, and a lot has happened since he began his Pokémon journey. He's already earned two of the qualifying badges--"


"--for participation in the Pokémon League."

This is why his wife left him, he's married to the job.

"A Boulder Badge and a Cascade Badge."

The characters continue the exposition, as they discuss the badges Ash has, how he obtained them and what that means in the grand scheme of things. Rather than give you the inane fluffing drivel the Narrator goes on to say, let's just say, CUTTING TO SAVE TIME.

It's going to be a bumper post, both parts together. So let's cut out the twaddle.

Saturday, 17 May 2014

[#12] Here Comes The Squirtle Squad (2/2)

It's Pikachu! Squirtle. Obviously. The episode is called "Here Comes The SQUIRTLE Squad". If you couldn't get that, then what the crap is wrong with you? SQUIRTLE SQUAD. It's not going to be a Pupitar, now is it? Get with the program, Pokéman masters.

Friday, 16 May 2014

[#12] Here Comes The Squirtle Squad (1/2)

"You'll remember in an earlier Pokémon adventure our hero Ash achieved his dream of catching a Bulbasaur. It was a shocking victory."

They show Pikachu winning with Thundershock here, hence the terrible pun.

"And so Bulbasaur joined the ranks."

Uh-huh. Any reason for the recap?

"Soon Misty, Brock and Ash lost their way... but found a Charmander! Braving a fierce storm, Ash and his friends came to its rescue. Abandoned by its trainer, the fire Pokémon recovered its strength and gained some new friends."

C'mon, hurry up for the love of all that is--

"Charmander became Ash's newest Pokémon... and that's how Ash caught Charmander and Bulbasaur."

And that's how I met your mother.

"He's pretty pleased with himself, as he skips down the road, singing our favourite theme."

Uh-huh, our favourite theme...

"Becoming a Pokémon Trainer looks like it'll be a snap! Or will it? Can things continue to go so smoothly? Maybe Ash is too confident--"

Whoa, hold on. First, who gave you permission to be so judgemental, especially after you fell asleep a few episodes back you bloody idiot. And why have we spent so long reminding everyone about how Ash caught Bulbasaur and Charmander, it's like, we already know! WE ALREADY KNOW. But don't let me stop you.

"He'd better keep his eyes glued to the road ahead! Who knows what pitfalls are waiting to swallow up our young hero?

"What did I tell ya?~ A pitfall."

Oh shut up.

Here they come to wash away this crappy cartoon.

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

[#11] Charmander - The Stray Pokémon (1/2)

"With Bulbasaur as his newest Pokémon, Ash and friends are making their way triumphantly to Viridian City... Aren't they?"

We're still lost folks, and from the name of this episode, it's pretty obvs what Ash's newest Pokémon will be. It starts with C and ends with Harmander.

"Our friends have gotten off track... just a bit."

Yeah, I gathered. Thanks for telling us what we already know, Narrator guy. Jokes about Misty hating bugs and some slapstick presides until Misty comes face to face with a large, silhouetted object.

Looks kind of like a sock puppet on top of a dustbin.

Ash, Brock and Misty approach the object, which on closer inspection appears to be a Charmander resting upon a rock.

Cue slide!

Monday, 12 May 2014

[#10] Bulbasaur and the Hidden Village (1/2)

"Our young hero Ash, leads his friends deep into the forest. Since he doesn't have a compass, Ash must rely purely on his instincts, and that means trouble!"

After a head splitting, headache inducing and thoroughly annoying excerpt from the world famous "We're Lost" opera, we're finally presented with the episode title card. Now could we please stop making jokes about not knowing where you are?

Oh goody, they've already run out of ideas. This is the start of the short three episode arc that explains how Ash, the fraud Pokémon trainer steals legitimately obtains the three starter Pokémon.

Sunday, 11 May 2014

[#9] The Path To The Pokémon League (2/2)

It's VLC having problems! Also, it's Sandshrew.

[#9] The Path To The Pokémon League (1/2)

Oh, I got Episode 8 and 9's order mixed up. That's OK, it's not like they're important. Oh yes, it's another filler episode. So I'm not going to spend too much time on this episode... said the guy who started the first draft of this article in November 2013. Ha! The irony.

It's an already familiar scene. Ash and his friends are lost. So lost, in fact, that they've lost the plot. Literally. They've lost the video game plot. Never you mind, at least they're on the way to Vermillion City after all. A sigh of relief, Gentlemen and Ladies.

Only a sigh though. Not a gasp, or a yawn, merely a sigh.